San-San-Kudo
Last week we had the rare opportunity to attend a Shinto wedding ceremony. A Japanese couple that we are friends with invited us to join them at their son’s wedding in order to see a Shinto ceremony firsthand. Because these ceremonies are usually only attended by family – and also because we didn’t realize that almost everyone wears black – we probably looked a bit out of place and were likely among some of the first foreigners inside the shrine.
Notice the dominant color. Supposedly only the bride wears white.
We got to the shrine at 10:30 in the morning just as the family was gathering for pictures. The bride was wearing a beautiful white kimono and specially styled and decorated wig for the occasion. Around 11, we all entered in the shrine, the bride’s family sat on one side, and we and the groom’s family sat on the other. The bride and groom sat in the middle and the priest stood in front of them.
As the ceremony began, the priest waved a pole in the air that had white paper streamers tied to it. The purpose of this was to ritually cleanse the participants and attendees. The priest then proceeded to the base of the altar and began to recite a prayer asking for blessing on the couple. To do this, he first clapped twice to signal the attention of the local spirit deity, then bowed, and began to recite the prayer. The prayer was chanted in song, similarly to how Jewish people read the Old Testament. We couldn’t follow all of it, but caught that he recited the full date, specific address of the shrine, and the bride and groom’s names. In Japanese thought, the spirits are not totally omniscient and so this was presumably to make clear exactly which couple he was asking for blessing on.
The main part of the ceremony was the ritual of drinking sake, Japanese rice wine. The bride and groom stood up and were given three special sake cups. The two shrine attendants called “miko” (maiden) poured sake from a special pitcher that looked like a gold teapot on the end of a long stick. Each time they poured, they would pour three small amounts of sake into the cup. The groom then would drink the sake in three sips. They repeated this two more times for groom and then did the same for the bride. The number three is a symbolic number for the Japanese because it is indivisible and can represent unity in marriage. The sipping ritual is repeated three times because three times three would be triple the happiness. Afterward, the fathers of the bride and groom also repeat the ritual, the bride’s father drinking with the groom and vice-versa, showing that they were in agreement with blending the two families. At the end of the ceremony, all of the family is given a sip of sake to drink together, showing unity and good will toward the couple.
The groom drinking from his cup.
Following the bride-groom sake exchange, the groom read a prayer of dedication to the sun god to which the bride added her name in agreement. They then presented a branch from a special tree as a ritualistic offering. Afterward the ceremony was officially closed and then the head of each family stood up and introduced the members of their family to everyone present.
It was very interesting to learn about this Japanese custom and we were very fortunate to be able to attend as many westerners living in Japan have never been to one. Please pray for the Japanese people that they would come to know the one true God who always hears, knows all things, and from whom come true blessings.